hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
