the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
