Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
