Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
