no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
