Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
