If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
