we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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