Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This house was built for laser tag.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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