just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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