Pappa wants mamma naked
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I need to calm my uterus...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
