Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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