My pussy is not your playground.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
