This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
