the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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