Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
