theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
