I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
