help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
