have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
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