gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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