no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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