so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
