And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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