How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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