I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
