Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
