Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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