so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
