That's when you crack a 10am beer
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why are your pants in the freezer?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
