life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
