You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
