So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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