I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
