Can Purell be used as lube?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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