you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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