I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
