my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
