at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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