yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
A bitchslap is in order.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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