You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize