She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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