what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
