so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
