I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The air was thick with penises
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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