That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
