I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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