Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
