I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
