It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I need to align my fucking chakras
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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