I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Randomize
