so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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