just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
