My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
