Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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