i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
