My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
