So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
the raccoons are back...
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