i just had sex bonerless
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize